how to stop being the dumb friend

You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Most of the time when we try to make people feel better, we end up arguing with them because were contradicting what theyre feeling, which inevitably makes them feel worse.. Your friends could also be afraid of you if you have an aggressive approach. Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. If you answered yes to any of these questions, odds are youre really smart. Benjamin Franklin had been attempting to capture electrical fire in glass jars as a primitive battery. Something went wrong. But dont worry, Ill go easy on you. Pranks and insults can make your friends feel like youre just putting them down. For example, ingested substances or excessive social support can promote confidence disproportionate to competence. WebBut by using that description for videos of well-known women being humiliated or poundedas the titles of some clips put itthese men reveal a lot about what they find Youve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. But let say you didnt hear/saw the disclaimer when the show began. I read and shit. WebHere is an alternative approach: lets quit accepting who we are, and focus on the possibility of who we can be. Work-Life Integration vs Work-Life Balance: Is One Better Than the Other? Thats a very negative mindset, so try being more open-minded. Your friends should feel comfortable that the personal information they share stays between the two of you, and doesn't become the subject of conversation with the rest of your network. You are trying to inflate your own ego because you feel threatened. There's nothing worse than trying to have a conversation with someone who's constantly checking their cell phone, responding to texts and tweeting the entire time you're together. In this case, if you still perform a deadly leg hook belly-to-back suplex to your brother and a similar emergency happens, does this makes you stupid or you can walk away with no-going-out for a month curfew? When people see that youre constantly complaining about something and doing nothing to resolve it, theyre not going to want to hear about it anymore. You can read more on how to build your own listening skills in his post here. Going through those steps may seem elementary, but consider this: with that simple training, many of Tetlocks subjects managed to beat the forecasts of professional intelligence agents, who were perhaps less ready to own up to their ignorance. Letting your friends know that you support them, even if their choices are different than your own is the sign of a good friend, as Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D. told Psychology Today. If youre a bitch, your friends might be afraid of you to the point that they cant be honest with you. You already learned that being nice requires you to say things to make others happy, but dont forget that they should be as sincere as possible. Be cautious with sarcasm too. Male and female autism share some similarities, but overall, women with autism tend to present differently than men. "If you don't want to do something stupid, you probably don't want to have higher expectations of your abilities than you should," Aczel said. Are you bossy? 27 Ways To Tell If You Are Toxic (+ How To Stop). You may not agree with every decision your friends make, but it's not your place to tell them how to live their lives. He writes that the best ways to listen are: actually listen, repeat back, and ask questions. No one wants to be told constantly that everything they do is wrong. Or aburglar, who, meaning to steal a phone, instead plucks a GPS device, which leads the police straight to him. He and a team of expert writers produce authentic, honest, and accessible advice on relationships, mental health, and life in general. Three scenarios, characterized by specific types of behavior, that make peoplecringe or laugh or put their hands to their forehead. It's a little-known fact, but its actually kind of difficult to be annoying and smile at the same. This one is rather easy if words like easy and learning can coexist in your small grey matter. The mixture of social media messages, constant new information, being outside of our normal comfort zone, relying way too much on others, creates a deadly cocktail: stress, rushed decisions, walking barefoot on a cactus. Sure, its a humor piece, but there is some truth in these words. What can be done? Please, dont try this at home! But you know, youre a dumbass and you ignore this message and you perform a Tornado suplex on your younger brother which, unfortunately, results in a 911 emergency call and your brother stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. There's no need to feel threatened by your friend's need to do things without you. Again, use the words please and thank you. Take time to explain what you need and why, not just demand it. I tend to lean on people around me to do anything and every errand feels like a big task. Youmight even feel like youre powerless, but I guarantee you that you have natural confidence that you can apply to start effecting change. If I talk without thinking or try to strike up a conversion with anyone, I seem like a rude and a selfish person . You dont need to keep on keeping on, and you dont need to put up with being treated like a doormat. Maybe you use insulting words to describe other women that you find intimidating. Letting your friends know that you support them, even if their choices are different than your own is the sign of a good friend, as. But odds are only a handful of those you connect with online are your true friends. WebBy Roberto A. Ferdman October 19, 2015 at 9:36 a.m. EDT The definition of the word "stupid" in dictionary. Sometimes people put up appearances so that they can make others happy. You just need to engage yourself in a wide variety of activities and experiences that can help you expand your world view. Except from me. You constantly look for flaws, judge others, and criticize everything. For instance, youll tell your friend that they look amazing while in reality, youre wondering what the hell they are wearing. Its okay to share your opinions, but you might be doing too much too often, and too loudly. Keep the tone of your voice and your body language in mind too. Regardless of the exact reason why you act bitchy sometimes, a therapist can help you get to the root of the problem and change your unhealthy patterns. Instead of offering your two cents on a situation, just listen. How to Be Happy Anyway. Your secrets are always safe with me. We all want our friends to succeed. Actually, read it twice. You might be suffering from low self-esteem, insecurities, or something else that youre repressing could be causing big problems in your life. No matter how draining the relationship may have been at its worst, when you let a friend go, you lose a whole part of In contrast, considering yourself as a bit dumb has its own benefits: Youll understand your own deficiencies which grants you the ability to work on them and improve as a person. You might be mocking people and sharing things that theyre embarrassed about. So, after all that trash-talk, we can conclude that stupidity is composed by the following two things: Mastering these two will make you a brighter person. A bizarre outfit or a strange conversation, an unfamiliar gestureor anything, really, that doesn't fit intothe realm of acceptablebehavior. WebThere are many ways of being taught how to not be an idiot. Although it is easy to laugh at Franklins eccentricity, the other examples are sobering. I feel so dumb everyday, guys. If you have nothing nice to say, dont say anything at all. No one likes people who do this. In fact, approximately 390,000 injuries occur each year from accidents caused by texting or talking while driving. If you need to, be willing to remove yourself from the situation or relationship and start building the kind of life youd love to live. The ability to be trusted can make or break a friendship, as Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D. told Psychology Today. Be safe. When a romance is new, it's easy to want to spend every free moment with your significant other. If you cant, fake it until you make it. An interaction of individual differences and environmental factors mayserve as predictors for people's propensity to show behavior that others would label as stupid. Fortunately, psychologists are finding that people can be trained to spot them. WebBullying 6 Signs of a Controlling Friend By Sherri Gordon Updated on September 17, 2020 Medically reviewed by Amy Morin, LCSW LumiNola / Getty Images Table of Contents View You dont need anyone to fix things for you, so dont let that be your motivation herethe point is to connect with another human being so that youre supported through this. Even if you're the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, you shouldn't have license to look down on anyone else or treat them poorly. The first is what Aczel and his teamcall "confident ignorance." Trust me, you can get caught up with the Kardashians when you're done. The stories were then presented tomore than 150 people, who were asked tofill out a questionnaire. You want people to feel comfortable spending time with you without worrying that theyll do or say something to upset or offend you. Its a trait that some people find surprisingly hard to cultivate, yet the moment of self-deflation pays off in the long term. We can rephrase this situation as bird pooped on top of the stop sign a.k.a that-is-why-i-didnt-stopped-at-the-stop-sign-mister-police-officer. Even when the criticism is not constructive, you dont have to get defensive. Guys, I really need help with this. For example, one of the studys experiments found that people who construed certain actions as negative were more likely to root it out through such means as eavesdropping or spying, which isn't behavior that necessarily wins friends over. The more you've done it, the faster it'll come back. Aczel calls this "lack of control" and characterizes it as the result of "obsessive, compulsive, or addictive behavior." You can argue with them, bombard them with facts, speak really slowly, send them back to school, but theyll keep coming back, dumber than ever. After all, isn't that why you moved out of your parent's house? But it shouldn't be a competition. A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday, wrote the 18th Century poet Alexander Pope. Intrigued, Balazs Aczel, a professor at the Institute of Psychology at Eotvos Lorand University in Budapest, wanted to find out more. But Im not here to judge. Try to show empathy and understand their pain instead of being glad that they have it worse than you. Posted March 18, 2013 You shouldnt talk behind someones back and change your opinion depending on who youre speaking with. How To Stop Gossiping About People: 7 No Nonsense Tips! If its at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward. Its something called illusory superiority, and, as Yogi shows, its particularly inflated among the least able. 3. You dont like it when things dont go your way, and you avoid opening your mind to new things. When wrestling with complex situations, it is easy to forget the basics which is why Gawande is a passionate advocate of checklists as a gentle reminder. At the Johns Hopkins Hospital, for instance, a list of five bullet points reminding doctors of basic hygiene reduced 10-day infection rates from 11% to 0%. That means that It can be funny, but when it crosses the line, its just mean. Actingin a way that isn't considered stupidisa goal shared bymost reasonable people, but many of them likely overlook one key attribute that might allow them to better achieve it: modesty. People who think theyre hotter than they really are utterly conceited and abominably clueless. They essentially suffer from delusions of grandeur imagine a typical guest on Jerry Springer. Reporting and analysis from the Hill and the White House, How to act less stupid, according to psychologists, DeSantiss ugly descent into invasion hysteria cant go unanswered, Republican opposition to LGBTQ rights erupts in backlash to Pride Month, intelligence canmake simple answers harder to find. WebHere are my tips to help you argue more constructively. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Try it for yourself. There is no need to confront them, argue with them, or try to explain why because its not going to change a thing. Stop comparing yourself to other people and remind yourself again that no ones perfect. We must remind ourselves that it's not about us, or our voice, but the other person's. Constantly trying to one up the other person is petty, and a sign that your friendship isn't as solid as it could be. 3. Try to show your humble side by being open and receptive to others thoughts and opinions. David Robson explains how to avoid the most common traps of sloppy thinking. That hypothesis thinking you are above making mistakes when in fact you're not fits nicely into the most egregious form of stupidity Aczel was able to identify: thecategory of "confident ignorance.". Its okay not to be perfect. Most importantly, your friends shouldnt be afraid of telling you what they mean just because it might hurt your ego. Youre also the most attractive when you smile. As children, people innately know how to play, but this often gets lost in the busyness of adult lives. You and your friends won't always see eye to eye, but that doesn't have to mean that the relationship is doomed. All Rights Reserved |. We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Disclosure: this page contains affiliate links to select partners. If history isnt your thing, writing a story imagining The day the president quit or The day my wife disappeared could be a starting point. If i think before speaking, I overthink and then don't talk at all. Intellectual humility comes in many other forms but at its centre is the ability to question the limits of your knowledge. This is because your bad behavior might come from anxiety, emotional trauma, or poor social skills. Thats it about point number one. A funny comeback will help you win any argument. You love to go out for drinks with your crew, but when the check comes, you conveniently realize you left your wallet at home. Male puffer fish work nonstop for a week to construct incredible "crop circle" art to attract the attention of passing females. Know when your hopes are well-founded and how to turn your deep desires into results. Just like you shouldnt get defensive, you shouldnt make others feel attacked. Ana Vakos enjoys writing about love and all the problems that come with it. I understand.. If you already take pride in your sense of humor, know how to joke at your own expense too. HBO A good friend is someone you can count on to take your secrets to the grave, no matter how juicy the information may be. While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address. As already mentioned, shift the focus onto someone else sometimes. Its also best to avoid commenting on everything that you see. Get to know your valuesthose things that are woven through you and are the cornerstones for who you are. We do this mainly because there is so much going on around us. You might be saying bitchy things to others in order to humiliate them. All this bombards your brain like the airstrikeon the Presidential Palace in Baghdad on 20 March 2003 and you overlook the traffic in front, leading to a collision. Or in other words, do things you havent done before. Hang around people who use words you dont understand (people smarter than you); Listen to audiobooks or podcasts from smart guys instead of thrash metal; Use your computer and smartphone for something more than chatting with friends and playing video games. intelligence doesnt mean that you are more rational or sensible, the needless loss of life through sheer carelessness, its particularly inflated among the least able, start swotting up with this comprehensive list. Dont pretend to be humble, but dont overdo it by boasting about your achievements either, especially around those you know wont ever achieve those same things. WebHow to get rid of my stupid friend - Quora. Shes a mess. Plenty of people with high IQs, after all,still manage to do things weregard as "stupid.". These behaviors are awful and bitchy. WebWhen others fail, be compassionate and give them a shoulder to cry on. Im smart you know. Put effort into becoming a nicer person because it will help you in all aspects of your life. Even if we arent schooled through rote memorisation any more, many teachers still dont necessarily train the kind of flexibility needed in most of real life. Those who act entitled alienate others and build others' resentment toward them. But there are times when I cant help being a brat. Believing youre an advanced human who knows everything wont do you any good. And we're apt to call both of those scenarios stupid, albeit less stupid than the previous examples. To psychologists today, that kind of thinking is considered a core personality trait known as open-mindedness. Hehasn't figured out why, but hypothesizes that intelligent people might be less capable of evaluating themselves, making them more vulnerable. Dont gossip, and dont betray your friends. They are good technicians with no common sense, and no ethics. You dont need to say this like bullshit politicians. In your defence, you might claim that you know youre smart because of your report cards, or that impressive performance at a pub quiz. Working with her can There may be times when conflicts in your schedule prevent you from being there in person, but your friend needs to know that you are supportive when it counts. the tendency to be convinced by the first piece of evidence that floats your way, much wiser when advising others than when dealing with issues closer to home. The best part is, youll even look prettier because everyone looks better when theyre smiling. People will be more apt to enjoy your company if you lighten up and arent so easily offended. This might be doing something you do at home (like cooking a meal, laughing with your partner or decorating a room), it might be something at work (like taking part in a meeting, writing a report or seeing a way through a problem) or it might be something you do socially (like chatting with a friend, ordering wine at a restaurant or meeting someone new). Dont insult others, and think before you speak. One way to develop those skills could be to re-imagine key events. But say you dont consider yourself a dummy. Read about our approach to external linking. And, yes, some women do interpret being a bitch as something positive, as if it means that a bitch is a woman who stands up for herself and freely speaks her mind. A Conscious Rethink is owned and operated by Waller Web Works Limited (UK Registered Limited Company 07210604), Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Sternberg and others are now campaigning for a new kind of education that teaches people how to think more effectively, alongside more traditional academic tasks. You might think that you have a great sense of humor, when in reality, youre just being mean. You might be scared, but you know what you need to do. Do I need to say more? That doesnt mean were dumb and being dumb or smart does not make you better or more worthy of connection. Born out of a passion for self-development, A Conscious Rethink is the brainchild of Steve Phillips-Waller. Natural confidence is being able to trust your behaviour with implicit faith in your abilities, so when youre doing something, theres no doubt about your ability to do ityou have full confidence. Guy Finley may have summed it up best in his, When you act entitled, you alienate people and build their resentment towards you. Other people are going through what youre going through, and you dont have to do this alone. Honesty is usually a positive quality, but you can have too much of a good thing. The more you understand about the world, the smarter youll get. Share this story onFacebook,Google+orTwitter. You can consider stupidity an advantage. Guy Finley may have summed it up best in his post on Beliefnet.com: Anytime you embrace a dark inner state, you increase the size of its stake on your heart and mind.. In business, short-sighted thinking might involve cutting corners that eventually lead to the downfall of a company.

Greenwich, Ct Building Permits, Being Too Flexible At Work, Articles H